Maynard James Keenan is, op zijn zachtst gezegd, een aparte man. Mijn voorliefde voor zijn werk moge inmiddels bekend zijn, hoewel ik daarbij wens aan te tekenen dat ik dol ben op de artiest – de mens erachter kan mij gestolen worden, maar regelmatig moet ik grijnzen om de sarcastische humor die hij tentoonspreid in interviews en op zijn eigen homepage . Tekstueel is er nogal veel veranderdin de loop der jaren, van de bijna puberale Opiate dagen tot aan de spirituele verlichting van Lateralus of de ‘blues’ van 10.000 days. Een aantal thema’s blijven echter terug komen, en één daarvan wil ik bij deze even uitdiepen, omdat ik het Mooi vind.
Als eerste de tekst van “Jimmy” uit 1996:
What was it like to see / The face of your own stability / Suddenly look away
Leaving you with the dead and hopeless?
Eleven and she was gone / Eleven is when we waved good-bye
Eleven is standing still / Waiting for me to free him
By coming homeMoving me with a sound / Opening me within a gesture
Drawing me down and in / Showing me where it all began
Eleven
It took so long to realize that
You hold the light that’s been leading me back home
Under a dead ohio sky / Eleven has been and will be waiting
Defending his light / And wondering… Where the hell have I been?
Sleeping, lost, and numb / So glad that I have found you
am wide awake and heading home
Hold your light, Eleven ,Lead me through each gentle step
by step, by inch, by loaded memory
I’ll move to heal As soon as pain allows so we can
Reunite and both move on together
Hold your light, Eleven
Lead me through each gentle step, by step
By inch by loaded memory ’till one and one are one, eleven,
So glow, child, glow
I’m heading back home
Jimmy , van ænema – 1996
Jimmy was elf toen zijn moeder een hersenbloeding kreeg die haar leven volledig zou verwoesten en haar verlamd vanaf haar nek zou achterlaten. Deze gebeurtenis zou hem nog jaren blijven achtervolgen, en was tevens de oorzaak van een bijna onherstelbare breuk tussen hem en zijn moeder. Zijn moeder was namelijk een devoot Christen, en zij bleef ondanks haar zware handicap een positief en diep gelovig mens en nam haar ‘straf van God’ gedwee. Omdat hij door deze verschrikkelijke gebeurtenis (en nog een andere, even verschrikkelijke gebeurtenis waar hij in ‘Opiate’ over schrijft) juist van zijn geloof viel ontstond er een onhoudbare thuissituatie met ruzies en vervreemding, die er uiteindelijk toe zouden leiden dat Jimmy naar West Point zou gaan.
Verdere persoonlijke details zijn even overbodig, ik laat deel II van de trilogie even ‘voor zich’ spreken :
Such an inspiration for the ways that I will never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you how your savior has abandoned you
Fuck your god, Your lord, your christ
He did this /Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, never stray, never Taste of the fruit
Never thought to question why
It’s not like you killed someone / It’s not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you broken down and paralyzed / He did it all for you
Oh so many ways for me to show you how your dogma has abandoned you
Pray / To your christ, to your god
Never taste of the fruit / Never stray, never break, never
Choke on a lie / Even though he’s the one who
Did this to you / Never thought to question why
Not like you killed someone / It’s not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side
Talk to Jesus Christ as if He knows the reasons why / He did it all for you
Judith – A Perfect Circle (Mer des noms – 2000)
Judith is de naam van Jimmy’s moeder, het kindje dat zichzelf later van James om zou dopen tot Maynard. Waar hij in ‘Jimmy’ nog lijkt te treuren om het verlies van zijn onschuld en probeert in het reine te komen met zijn verleden is zijn woede in dit nummer bijna voelbaar. Er waren immers al twintig jaren verstreken waarin zijn moeder maar bleef bidden, bleef hopen op een wonder. De aftakeling was na al die jaren verschrikkelijk, maar er was geen spoortje twijfel bij Judith-Marie Keenan. God was goed..Uiteindelijk, na 27 jaar, gaf haar lichaam de strijd op. En kleine Jimmy schreef deel III van de trilogie, een waardig afscheid voor zijn moeder die hem eigenlijk al op zijn 11e verlaten had..
You…
You believed …
You believed in movements none could see
You believed in me
A passionate spirit / Uncompromised
Boundless and open / A light in your eyes
Then immobilized
Broken
Fell at the hands of those movements that I wouldn’t see
Yet it was you who prayed for me / So what have I done
To be a son to an angel? / What have I done
To be worthy?
Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescents / Difficult to see you in this light
Please forgive this selfish question, but / What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight?
“She never told a lie, … well might have told a lie,
But never lived one
Didn’t have a life, Didn’t have a life,
But surely saved one.”
See? I’m alright / Now it’s time for us to let you go
10.000 days – Wings part II
Listen to the tales and romanticize / How we’d follow the path of the hero
Boast about the day when the rivers overrun / How we rise to the height of our halo
Listen to the tales as we all rationalize / Our way into the arms of the savior,
Feigning all the trials and the tribulations; / None of us have actually been there.
Not like you…
Ignorant siblings in the congregation / Gather around spewing sympathy,
Spare me…
None of them can even hold a candle up to you / Blinded by choice, these hypocrites won’t see
But, enough about the collective Judas / Who could deny you were the one who
Illuminated your little piece of the divine?
And this little light of mine, a gift you passed on to me / I’m gonna let it shine to guide you safely on your way,
Your way home …
Oh, what are they going to do when the lights go down / Without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they going to do when the rivers overrun / Other than tremble incessantly?
High is the way, but all eyes are upon the ground / You were the light and the way they’ll only read about
I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out / Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough;
You’re going home…
You’re the only one who can hold your head up high / Shake your fists at the gates saying:
“I’ve come home now!
Fetch me the spirit, the son, and the father / Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended
It’s time now!
My time now!
Give me my, give me my wings!”
You are the light and way that they will only read about..
Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance, / burden of proof tossed upon the believers
You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence, /Judith Marie, unconditional one
Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescents / Difficult to see you in this light
Please forgive this bold suggestion, but / Should you see your Maker’s face tonight,
Look Him in the eye, look Him in the eye, and tell Him:
“I never lived a lie, never took a life, but surely saved one
Hallelujah, it’s time for you to bring me home”
Wings for Marie/10.000 days (wings part II) – 10.00days (2006)